Anytime I mention fitness and getting into shape, I’m bombarded with comments saying “But you look fine/good/great/gorgeous/pretty/insert-something-else-nice-here!”
First of all, please don’t get me wrong. These are all VERY nice to hear, and I do appreciate the compliments, even if I don’t fully believe you. Then again, because of that whole worst-self-criticsm thing, half of me doesn’t give a shit what you think about how I look.
Even still, is this even about -how I look-? No.
Okay, some of it is; it’s a result of the main goal. I mentioned getting in shape and fitness. Not body image. I did not call myself fat. When I do, I’m joking. I know I “look fine,” but I could look better (and have the old photos to prove it.) But that’s besides the point.
When someone says “I want to get in shape” or “be/become fit,” DO NOT, I repeat DOOOO NOTTTTTT simply tell them that they look fine already. It’s like you’re giving us an excuse to continue to the lifestyle we wish to change. If we look fine already, and already know that we are accepted as who we are, why should we bother trying to change?
As much as you are trying to give a complement (thank you) it’s extremely frustrating!! It feels so unsupportive of what my goals actually are.
It’s like somebody saying “I want to go back to school to study ____,” and someone replying with “but you’re already really smart!” (appreciated, but..) SO WHAT?!?!! Normally, what you see people responding with is something like “That’s great!”, “You should do it!’ and “Rock the fuck on!”
Why not respond in a similar manner when goals are fitness-related? Are you not supportive of the person? If so, let them know in addition to the compliment you were about to give. It will make worlds of a mental difference for the receiver.
Let me reiterate that I am NOT fishing for compliments. I just want people to understand the position of an okay-looking overweight girl who wants to get back into shape.
That said, I’m going to the gym 🙂
[Actually, I had written this before I left but was unable to post it. But shhh.]